The rule of thumb is that porn is considered cheating if yu and your partner have agreed that you will not engage in watching pornography (or reading it, listening to it or some other form of connecting) and those boundaries have been specifically set. Your partner needs to have told you clearly before hand if they consider engaging with pornography to be a kind of cheating.
Within yourself, if you regularly experience porn as better than being with your partner, or if you prefer to masturbate than have sex with your partner or if you feel guilty and ashamed after having sex with your partner, you might need to consider if your practices are ethical to your partner or to yourself.
Of course, the best guide to evaluating your healthy porn relationship is if you expect your real life sex partner to enact or measure up to sex you see on line and have no interest in their sexual needs. If you find yourself falling into this head space, you need to self-correct at the very least.
Porn is fun. Porn can be ethical. Porn can be your go-to happy place.
Porn can’t dictate nor alleviate tensions and problem IRL.
Porn is just porn. Its nothing other than that.
